When Gratitude Is Countercultural

 

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Philippians 1:6, 2 Corinthians 3:18, Romans 12:2, Hebrews 10:14, Colossians 3:10, 2 Peter 3:18

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Hello, friends! Today I bring you a longer blog (that is much more like an essay!) on a topic that has been at the forefront of my mind lately! It was inspired by a note from my study in Colossians, so I will begin with that, and then share the topic of optimism in the light of CHRIST. 

"Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving."
Colossians 2:6-7

I want and need to continue growing and building my roots in CHRIST. This will help me abound in thanksgiving. 

It is easy to follow the complaining nature of society. Most small talk consists of small complaints. Complaining is easier for people to relate to than gratitude. 

But I want to work on not letting that nature of society dictate how I think. I want to grow on being so filled with the joy of walking in CHRIST that gratitude naturally flows out!!

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    I had a conversation not long ago about this topic with my sister. We were talking about the struggle of being someone who is optimistic. When you say you’re good or you focus on the small blessings JESUS gave you, people assume your life is great and easygoing. People’s negativity feeds more on your positivity.

    Let’s break this topic down (spoiler, it has much more to it than I originally thought). 

Think about small talk. Ninety-percent of it is negative.

“The weather is too hot and humid right now.” 

“I’m having such a bad hair day, it’s not cooperating.”

“You know the drill, work is too long and tiring.”

“This nail color isn’t what I was going for, I don’t really like it.”

“Traffic is just so horrible.”

“The kids aren’t listening, it’s so frustrating lately.” 

“It’s too cold outside, I can’t wait for warmer weather.”

“It’s Monday again. Gonna be a long week.”

    The list of small talk complaints can really go on and on. Of course sometimes small talk is positive, but negativity is easier to relate to than positivity. Think of this same example, but two different ways:

Example one:

Person A: The weather outside is gorgeous!

Person B: Really? It is sunny, but it’s way too hot. I wish it were cooler.

Person A: That is so true. It is way too hot outside. 

Example two:

Person A: It’s too hot outside.

Person B: I know right! I’m legit melting.

Person A: Exactly. I’m sweating after five seconds of standing outside.

    For both, the conversation continues and probably changes the topic. It’s easier to continue the conversation based on the relatability of the negative side, it’s almost more natural. 

    When our brains are wired with small talk complaints, why wouldn’t it be more natural to complain about actual life problems? Work is hard. Relationships are hard. Trials and suffering can be suffocating. So for real life, the natural thing to do is focus on the negative side. 

    It breaks my heart when I talk with a believer in CHRIST and they are just waiting to die because life is mainly miserable and they can’t wait to be with JESUS. Eternity with JESUS is our true Home and we long for the day where we can commune with HIM and all HIS children perfectly without sin. But friends, GOD isn’t making our lives on earth miserable with no purpose. If that were true, we wouldn’t be here right now. Even in this broken world GOD has still given us HIS strength and joy. There is purpose in why we are here. In the right now we can have joy in CHRIST. That isn’t something HE is withholding until Heaven. 

    Winding back around to the topic of being an optimistic person in the midst of a negative society. My day could have been pretty “horrible,” but in the midst of the chaos I see the restful time spent reading GOD's Word. I see the conversation online I got to have about JESUS. Reading a chapter of a good book. Watching an episode of anime. Praying for a friend. Listening to music. Having the ability to work on my job. Writing a blog. Or maybe just the simple fact I’m alive right now for a reason. So when I say I’m good or alright or anything of the like, to others it could seem like there was no pain or hardships that day or week, or it could seem like I’m lying and just not being open enough. On the latter, I've been told that being reserved is not the Christian thing to do.

    Because of that, I spent years attempting to change my personality. I started joining into the negative small talk. I started forcing myself not to mention the small blessings or joys for fear of not being real or genuine, and only trying to say things such as, “it’s been difficult” or “crazy” or mentioning smaller things about trials in my life. 

    It was always so forced. It never was my natural tendency. But I just wanted to be a real and a genuine Christian. And since focusing on the positive is thought of as not being honest, I had to change. Since being reserved is said to be a negative and not genuine trait, I had to change.

    As I started to become a bit of a personality-type nerd, I loved learning about all the unique ways GOD created us. Then I started to see that being reserved is not a sin. Focusing on the positive is not lying. They are instead traits of different personalities. And every single personality has strengths and weaknesses. Positive sides and negative sides.

    Going back to the conversation I mentioned at the beginning, I remember taking away two things. My sister said it was actually a good trait being someone who naturally focuses on the positive. I always viewed it as a negative thing since I was told it’s not being genuine (even though to me, focusing on the one positive as opposed to the five negatives was my natural instinct). 

    And two, on the side of me working on something. It will work on my humility. In a society where negativity is the norm, being positive will humble you greatly. People will assume your life is easygoing. People will always one-up you. People's complaints compared to your hardships will reveal the pride in your own heart that wants to defend itself. You won't always be able to relate to negative small talk.

    To others this might seem silly, but it’s been a relief to me to learn that being optimistic does not equal lying. And that being reserved does not equal hiding. 

    I want to grow in my positivity by having CHRIST pour out at the center of it all. For I can only be joyful because I am found in CHRIST. And the only way to pour HIM out is to be filled with HIM. To meditate upon HIM and feast upon HIS Word. Then naturally, gratitude for JESUS will flow out. 

    And by JESUS being the center, it will naturally work on my humility. Because at the end of the day, it isn’t about me, it’s about HIS glory. So misunderstandings will roll off my back since that ultimately doesn’t matter. Focusing on CHRIST will reveal the pride that is within me that needs to be extinguished. 

    I know this has been a lengthy blog. The topic was more complex than I originally thought! Thank you for reading about a sliver of my heart’s thoughts. I am praying that by giving these feelings words, it will grow me to be more like CHRIST and to focus more on HIM than myself. 

LORD willing, see you all for our next cup of coffee together! 

- Sabina